The House Party
a Multi-Million Dollar
Enterprise Can't Stop
Four Loko tried to take this domain. They lost.
Mentor, OH
Exact address: 000 Somewhere Rd
Released the moment your RSVP is processed.
8PM
Eastern time. Show up at 8 and you get first pick of the fridge. Show up late and you get whatever's warm.
Pizza + 1 Loko
Pizza for everybody and exactly one (1) Four Loko per guest. Beyond that, you're on your own supply chain — BYO whatever else you need.
Room for ~5
There are about five spots for people who probably shouldn't drive. We're not reserving them — it's first come, first unconscious, so plan accordingly.
Every year the bar gets raised and the judgment gets lowered. Here's what's new on the floorplan.
A full inflatable. Indoors. Shoes off, drinks down, dignity optional. Management is not liable for what happens inside the bouncy structure.
A dedicated cigar setup for anyone who wants to stand outside and solve the world's problems at 1AM. Bring your own if you're particular.
A Monopoly tournament with no house rules and no moral floor. Bribery, alliances, theft from the bank — all legal. The only rule is you can't flip the board.
We're trying to get shirts made. No promises yet — but drop your size on the RSVP and you're in the running if it happens.
Bracket play, two to a team. Re-racks allowed. Elbow rule enforced by whoever is loudest.
Distance and accuracy, one on one. Catch it clean or wear it — both count as participating.
Against the clock, not each other. One timed run, one official stopwatch, no do-overs. Fastest time takes the board.
Sign up on the RSVP so we can seed the brackets before you're in no condition to be seeded.
Doubles. Re-racks allowed. Elbow rule enforced by whoever is loudest.
Distance and accuracy. Catch it clean or wear it. Both count as participating.
Against the clock, not each other. One timed run, one official stopwatch, no do-overs.
The long game. Starts early, ends never. Cheating is the mechanic, not the exploit.
Every guest gets one big can. Call your flavor on the RSVP and we'll have it cold and waiting with your name on it — literally, in marker.
Short list. Read it once so nobody has to yell it over the music.
Park all down one side of the street. Same side, single file, nose-to-tail. Both sides blocks the street and that's how the night ends early.
Come in through the front door. Not the garage, not the side gate, not the back slider. Front door only so we can actually keep track of who's here.
The address goes out only after your RSVP is processed. No RSVP, no address. Don't be the person texting "where is this" at 9PM.
If you're drinking, you're not driving. There are about five sleeping spots, first come, first served — no reservations, so line up a ride before you show up in case they're gone.
Fill this out and the exact address comes straight to you. Takes about forty seconds — considerably less time than the chugging time trial.
RSVP received. Watch for a text with the exact address — it goes out once we process the list.
Park on one side of the street. Come in the front door. See you November 27th.